1. Write down your opinion as you see it.

2. Read your opinion back to yourself. Notice inside your body as you read.  How is your breathing? What’s happening in your jaw area? Your throat? Your shoulders? Your chest and stomach areas? Where is the feeling most intense inside your body?

3. Now allow that specific part of your body to express how it sees or feels about the situation. Let this part express (in privacy) whatever it wants… if it wants to swear, let it swear. If it wants to cry let it cry. If it wants to rage, let it rage. Without judging yourself, in one sentence, write down what this part would really like to say or do about the situation. Write with no holds barred.

4. Take a deep breath. Feel back into the body part where the feeling has been so strong. Welcome this part of you. Thank it for being here. Ask this part, “What are you really wanting?” Now write down what it wants.

5. Imagine that part fully having what it wants. Imagine what that body part feels by having what it wants. Now ask that part, what does having (whatever you wrote down) give you that is even more important? Write that down.

6. Repeat step #5 again, then again, until the response is no longer dependent on another person’s approval or acceptance, no longer about figuring anything out, or even about being hopeful. Continue this process until the body part simply feels relaxed, okay, peaceful, complete, or no words are necessary.

7. Now close your eyes and take a few moments to allow all of yourself to fully enjoy a state of being relaxed and peaceful.

8. While still experiencing this more relaxed state, look again at your opinion in step 1. By remaining in this state, what is different now? Where could you gently soften your way of seeing? How is this new state transforming your opinion? How might feeling like this change your behavior? What if in a similar future situation, you began in this state?

This is an ongoing process, a process that you can use with other situations and parts within you. Be gentle with yourself! What’s valuable here is recognizing that even the parts within us that are sometimes difficult to be with or acknowledge in ourselves, have pure intent and want inner peace and love at their core. This is true for all of us.

We can have genuine compassion for another’s behavior when we recognize that we have the same behavior potential in ourselves, and especially when we begin to see that our initial behavior (as in step 1) is not our fault.

Earlier in your lifetime, this part created the best coping strategy it could to deal with a difficult situation. This part of you may have been stuck since that early age, isolated from the skills and wisdom you now have. The old way of coping is still an option. However, as your thoughts and opinions relax more and more with this process, new and healthier ways to experience inner peace open up.

Resources

Activity

An Exercise for Inner Peace

In this activity, you are invited to look at a part within you that may be keeping you from enjoying a better relationship with a loved one, more effective communication at work, or in some other way is limiting you in fully living your life.

Sit in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed, with pen and paper. Recall a situation or recent interaction with someone, either at work or at home, in which you held a very strong opinion and you still feel that you are right. Perhaps it is an issue about money, a political issue, or a concern over responsibility. The important point here is that you feel very strongly, even adamant about how you see it.