How to Start a Support Group for Awakening

“My dream is to start a group that has potential for deep, spiritual connection.”

 “As a sensitive man, it would be awesome to be with other men willing to be real and vulnerable.”

 “I would love to start a support group for women of weight where we could just be free about our weight issues, accept and celebrate who we are.”

“My group has brought magic into my life - just being comfortable to share myself and being with others who have gone through similar stuff is refreshing beyond words.”

These comments reflect a common thread from many of my clients. Knowing first hand the power of collective energy to be transforming and life changing, plus hearing the need and desire for this type of support, this article focuses on support groups as a vital way to awaken to life.

I love participating in and enjoy facilitating groups; yet, I am not an expert. My intention here is to give any sincere individual or group a starting place for either joining or forming a supportive group for awakening.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is a place where words are born of silence,
A place where the whispers of the heart arise.

~ Rumi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why a Support Group?

I am going to share from personal experience. About 15 years ago, Julie, a new friend at that time invited five of us women living in a remote part of Northern California for an informal women’s group. I came not knowing what to expect, as there was no plan, no agenda. Yet from that first night and in subsequent gatherings we held safe space to share about our lives without judgment. We cried and laughed together, and we (usually) didn’t try to fix or convert each other. This was my first real experience of being with a group - in an unconditional, loving, sacred, mystical, playful sort of way. Our little group of five (sometimes more, sometimes less) lasted more than 10 years as a support group. We didn’t label it that, but we all knew about the unconditional love and acceptance that we received. I wanted more.

Beginning in 1997, the journey for spiritual growth led me to more structured support groups with gurus, shaman, authors, teachers, and others. My quest has included Toltec gatherings, power journeys, Universal Family retreats, community building gatherings, soul groups, building circles, healing circles, roundtables, weekly teaching sessions, another women’s group, facilitating workshops, and more. What can I say now about support groups? For me, an effective support group is still about experiencing a deeper sense of love and acceptance combined with experiencing an expanding awareness of the present moment –experiencing the oneness that I am – and being of service in this space. What I have learned (and keep learning) is the pure power that comes from not over-organizing or ego-tizing the structure – for I’ve seen too much of that will choke the life from a group. The success of a group relies on the willingness of each member to be present, authentic and vulnerable. A group’s vibrancy is a delicate and sacred dance with the present moment – balancing a light, flexible structure with silence and spaciousness.

What do you want from a Support Group?

Whether looking for a group to join, forming a new group, or if you’re not satisfied with your current group, then look deeper at what you want:

1. Get clear about whom you want to be with. Consider what your purpose and intention are. Are you looking for spiritual growth, connection, oneness? Are you going through physical or emotional issues (such as cancer, weight, divorce, parenting) where being with others going through similar challenges could help you? Are you looking for a combination of these needs to be met?

2. Write down the types of people you find supportive, write any names of people you would like to be with in group, and whatever else that could support you.

Details to Consider

While I strongly advocate a light structure, there are important details to consider, like:

Time: when, how often, and duration the group will meet.

Location: Where will the group meet? Will the space be consistent or rotating?

Participation: How many members? How will they participate?

Facilitation: Will there be a facilitator? If so, will this role be selected or shared among members? What will that role entail?

Format: Will there be opening and/or closing rituals (lighting of a candle, sound of a chime, a moment of silence)? Will there be guidelines, such as speaking only when moved to speak or using a talking stick, using “I statements”, listening and being present for others, holding space for silence while another shares, respecting confidentiality, taking self responsibility (not trying to fix another), a suggested level of commitment, etc.

Creature comforts: Will light refreshments be available, if so when and where (during breaks or after meetings), what lighting works best, sound needs or distractions, temperature control, breaks, restrooms available.

You may use the above and whatever else you have written to review groups you are considering joining.  If you’re looking to start a new group, use this same information as your basic ingredients for making a flyer, publication and informational listings.

Where to Find Support Groups

Here’s a list (by no means comprehensive) of where to look for already existing groups to join. If starting a new support group, consider this list for posting flyers or to give out a description and information about your group.

__ your sphere of influence (friends, co-workers, family, email address book)

__ word of mouth

__ community bulletin boards

__ community centers offering holistic practices like yoga, tai chi, etc.

__ natural foods stores and community co-ops

__ university and community college resource centers & publications

__ other schools, vocational and employment training centers

__ non profit organizations

__ Unity Church, Church of Religious Science

__ open-minded or alternative healthcare and healing practitioners

__ fitness centers

__ libraries

__ bookstores
__ city parks and recreation

__ events or calendar section of your local paper & other local publications

__ on-line support systems, Craigs List

__ public radio

__ teleclasses

Resources