Freebies | |||||||||||||||
|
Exploring Anger as an Ally Anger is fuel. Anger can be healing and healthy. Anger can be a monster. When we feel it, we want to take action. We want to hit someone, break something, throw a fit, smash a fist into the wall, swear and use obscenities. Anger isn’t nice. We’re conditioned to stuff it, deny it, bury it, block it, hide it, lie about it, medicate it, muffle it, ignore it... everything but to experience it. Like it or not, anger is natural. When we try to stop ourselves from feeling this strong emotion we are soon out of integrity with it. Unconscious anger becomes the underlying cause for illness and destruction. Anger used as in dumping on or blasting someone, reflects our powerlessness and holds us as its victim. When we learn how to consciously relate with this energy, we discover a powerful ally. Anger expressed responsibly and consciously leads us to recovery. Anger is a map. Anger shows us what our boundaries are. Anger shows us where we want to go. It lets us see where we’ve been and lets us know when we haven’t liked it. It points the way. Anger can energize us to take the action we need to move out of a stuck place. It tells us we can’t get away with our old life any longer. It’s not a gentle friend, but it is a very loyal friend. It tells us when we have been betrayed. It can lead us to what we really want. It tells us it’s time to act in our own best interest. When anger starts to bubble up, the following exercise is very helpful and amazingly effective in allowing you to be with anger responsibly. The time to express your anger is when it’s happening. A Sacred Anger Exercise First: feel exactly where in your body that anger is emanating from, and gage it. Is it subtle and calm or is close to rage? If the anger is calm or cool and seething, stay with calm or cool and seething; if it’s hot and fiery, be hot and fiery. Let that part of you that is feeling anger say exactly what it wants to say in just the tone it wants to say it. Don’t censor it. The rule: NEVER direct the energy of anger at the person you’re angry with, or another living being, including yourself. Do this exercise in private, or with a tree, or with someone who can be present with you (someone who is silent, will not try to fix you or collude with you; someone who is willing to simply be there, witness, and give you space). Do not believe in anger’s drama or accompanying story; simply allow anger to have its say. Use just enough of the story to get the anger up and out. Don’t hold back the feelings. Don’t be nice. Swear or yell if it helps (take care not to damage your vocal cords). Allow anger’s tone to hit just the right note... you’ll know when this happens. This honors the natural emotion. Act it out! Intensify it. Play with it. Humor it.
Express the energy of anger for at least ten minutes – until you become good and tired of doing it, or until the process becomes humorous (when frustrated crying turns into tears of laughter, you're on track). Also, striking the right chord in expressing the emotion is essential for the anger to release and transform. If it doesn’t transform into a lighter or softer experience, you’re probably not allowing yourself to fully feel and express the intensity of the anger. Once the anger clears, with gentle awareness, notice what you are feeling inside now. Pay particular attention to the chest, stomach, and solar plexus areas. Focus your attention on any sensation, tension, or discomfort that may be inside. Be gentle and allow yourself to feel each of these areas. This is a magical time to accept and love where you are at in this moment, to accept, love and experience your humanness! When the anger has cleared, here are a few questions to consider: What does the angry part of you really want? What value(s) might be getting stepped on or overlooked? |
|||||||||||||||
